Monday, July 21, 2014

The One Star book Review Guessing Game

There's a tumblr that picks the best of Good Read's one star reviews (there must be a tumblr for everything). It is GOLD. No, I won't link to it just now because then you'll know which books these reviews refer to.

What I want to do is to play a guessing game. We'll start with something easy:

"Maybe my main issue with this book was just that it wasn’t lighthouse-y enough.”

Ok, you got that (surely you did?). Try these:

“I wish I could meet a lifelong love by vomiting through his window.”

“Even if you read this book 500 times, it has always the same plot line.”

"it might be a satyr and all but I did not like it."

“not interested in books about Satin.”

And from my top 5:

“I didn’t really get the cookie thing.”

“I don’t know if my book was incomplete or if this whole thing was some kind of weird joke.”

“Reading this story is like taking a cold bath with someone you dislike.”

“A 24-foot dirty old man creeps down the streets late at night, when all the grown-ups are asleep, peering in through little children’s windows. No, not the subject of a court case, just a momentously popular piece of fiction by the much beloved [name redacted].

“HOW MANY BOOKS HAS SHE WRITTEN ANYWAY HUNDREDS RIGHT ? WAY TOO MANY I TELL YOU — STOP THIS WOMAN”   

Okay: you can start guessing now.*

__

*Answers here

9 comments:

??! said...

Yes! Quiz!

I want to say "Something Happened" for the 500 times one.
Satyr - Lord of the Flies?
Incomplete - Godot?
Second last - BFG.
Last one - Cartland? Nora Roberts? Blyton?

Space Bar said...

??!: Well done with a couple of them (I won't say which, because of course you've looked by now). But I defy anyone to get the '...but I did not like it' one!

david jairaj said...

"cookie thing" - is this proust's 'remembrance of things past'? the protagonist is eating a madeleine and it sparks off memories.

david jairaj said...

"it might be a satyr and all but I did not like it." - picture of dorian gray?

Space Bar said...

david: right author, wrong work. and yes, proust.

??! said...

Damn. Madeleine. Didn't make the connection.

km said...

I laughed *so* goddamn hard at this: “I wish I could meet a lifelong love by vomiting through his window.”

That tumblr is pure comedy gold.

/I got only one of them right - that too a book I have not read (but hope to, because how can anyone on the Internet claim not to have Proust on their reading list?)

Space Bar said...

km: ikr. (remind me to send you a tumblr post abt pacific rim. tumblr is all gold.)

so...'satyr', anyone?

david jairaj said...

if it IS wilde, then is has got to be that play made famous by spider-man two's girlfriend :-) "yes, i am glad"