okay, slumdog

So what's the fuss about, really?

Here's what I think:

1. Danny Boy is going to make one crawling through shit scene a signature of his ouvre; you just wait and watch. That's going to be his Hitchcock contribution to the world of cinema.
2. Not sure about this, because I may have imagined the whole thing, but did the guy pretending to be Amitabh Bachchan sign an autograph with his left hand? Is Aby a leftie? And I don't mean politically, of course.
3. So that chase through the slums. In case you weren't paying enough attention to the title, that crazy tilting camera has one shot of a mongrel curled up in the path, looking askance at this line of ragged kids being chased by cops.*
4. Those cuts away and away to show the size of the slum did nothing for me. Is this a fun chase sequence or a recce for Google Maps?
5. In fact, let's say it here and have done: the whole film did nothing for me. Not the characters, not the music, not the structure, nothing. I was bored.
6. Except when I was being indignant with those out-synch bits. How come no one's mentioned those yet? Or do they just take it for granted?
7. Not sure if the Hindi version would have worked better. I suspect it would but I'm not watching it again to find out.
8. You want feel good? Go watch Oye Lucky Lucky Oye.
9. Update: Not sure why I forgot to mention this: under the general heading of Opportunities Lost comes two versions of a dialogue Danny Boy didn't use from our Great Indian Tradition. This concerns a scene at the end, when Jamal finally meets Latika at VT and they kiss.

Version 1.

JAMAL sees LATIKA across a train. She turns and also sees him. JAMAL crosses the platform, across the tracks and climbs up to where LATIKA is. They fall into each others' arms and the camera begins to circle around them.

LATIKA (drumming her tiny fists on JAMAL's shoulder): I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! (whispers) I love you.

JAMAL kisses LATIKA.**

Version 2.

JAMAL sees LATIKA across a train. She turns and also sees him. JAMAL crosses the platform, across the tracks and climbs up to where LATIKA is. They fall into each others' arms and the camera begins to circle around them.

JAMAL: I love you.

LATIKA (drumming her tiny fists on JAMAL's shoulder): Kiss me, you fool!***

JAMAL kisses LATIKA.

Update 2: Here's Kiran David with a bottle of acid.

*For the best, the definitive chase sequence involving Bombay slums, watch Kashyap's Black Friday. That is a brilliant sequence, one that Danny Boy would have done well to have studied.

** Of course, this scenario is rather inexplicable, given the circumstances but that oughtn't to have discouraged Danny Boy, seeing as so much of the film already is.

***They actually went with this version but left out the crucial 'you fool'. Everyone knows millionaires are not fools.