Saturday, February 23, 2013

Bhanu Kapil defines things on Urban Dictionary

You know Urban Dictionary? The place where you go to keep abreast of current slang, innuendo and acronyms (since nearly everything needs fewer vowels, bb).

I didn't know you could make definitions there that would make you want to buy mugs & t-shirts that said Architecture - 5 or Humanimal (I would buy the heck out of that t-shirt).

It appears you can, and someone did. Bhanu Kapil has done something to Urban Dictionary that I hope it will never recover from.

Here's a sample:
Narrative

The inability to conceive of a happy ending.

Sometimes I think that the whole reason I met him was to discover that his wife was studying Counseling Psychology, if indeed that is the name of something a person might actually learn, with the great-grand-niece of Frida Kahlo. In the narrative of desire, perhaps what matters is not intimacy but it's counterpart: a new thought. In this sense, the lover is a necessary force, but rarely it's limit. I said: "Maybe this is the reason we met." Thinking of the yellow table, the third eye, the monkey in her arms. Dominant. I begged for an introduction, forgetting for a moment who I was. To him. For her. A cunt. Do cunts get to meet Frida Kahlo? In the flesh? Greeley, Colorado is where the slaughterhouses are. I'd like to visit that university town.
I've always thought - from what little I've read on her blog and on Almost Island, that Kapil is someone I need to read more of. Maybe some day I will manage it. Until then these sudden instance of brilliance must do.

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Re the entry True Love: I am wondering what a list of lovers' occupations would look like. I already know it will be boring and unpoetic and undeserving of a definition on Urban Dictionary. Perhaps there's an Obscure Sorrow that defines the sadness of never having a lover who was an actor is a miracle play.

2 comments:

subhorup dasgupta said...

Obliquely reminds me of the brilliant feature in the now defunct OMNI magazine called Cracked Definitions. Wit-a-purpose.

S. said...

This is so AWESOME! Thanks for sharing :)