Friday, June 29, 2012

Shoulda watched Brave

The girl ahead of me at the theatre bought her own 3D glasses while we waited. After the film - after the web came at us and the extra scene came and went unremarked (Marvel has figured out at least, that no one stays until the absolute end of the credits and so they now insert the 'extra' after the main people have been credited and before the caterers and lawers get their share of the limelight), I thought of this girl. I thought what she did was the most amazing thing about watching The Amazing Spiderman.

Because I have never seen a film that needed 3D less. In fact, I am wondering if the film might even be improved if all of us didn't watch it at all. Like, in some forest somewhere, reels of films will fall and fall and be richer and more loamy for doing it unwatched.

Spidey is that film. It has absolutely nothing going for it (ok, it has Andy Garfield, who is middling-cute, but just about): lousy, witless dialogue, no chemistry between any two - pick any combo - characters, a laughable villain and a cop whose one line ("Do I look like the mayor of Tokyo?") was said as if it was meant to fall flat.

I amused myself by imagining that the newspaper cutting of Peter's parents' death had his mother's name as June Parker. That's how boring it was.


Shoulda watched Brave.


Banno said...

Good. So I can not watch the film now, without any guilt. :)

km said...

Spiderman got dull around the...first film in the franchise? (I hate typing that word "franchise".)

Also, I am now SO old that I look at summer movie trailers and long for fall/winter fare and their Oscar aspirations.

Space Bar said...

Banno: Everyone says Brave is a good film to watch with one's mothers or daughters. *hint hint*

km: I know. Agree, actually. I was half-hoping someone would burst into the Spiderman! Spiderman! song during this one.

Me - I watch British TV these days. Much more fun.

km said...

Yeah, I hear everyone is into "Downton Abbey" and "Sherlock Holmes"? (Or is that Downton Holmes and Sherlock Abbey?)

Space Bar said...

km: that's so last year - get with the program!

(The Hollow Crown. BBC2. Starting yesterday.)

aandthirtyeights said...

Until the reviews came, I didn't know this was a new "franchise"! I thought it was more Mary Jane...