Monday, April 12, 2010

Annie Finch's Kegels for Poets

= joy!
When your meter muscles get regular and varied exercise you will find that it actually turns you on poetically. You will better be able to identify and distinguish your lyric G-spot and creative muscles in addition to stimulating your poetic clitoris without even touching yourself! As you perfect these exercises and strengthen the muscles you’ll begin to notice that you can isolate distinctly separate groups of metrical muscles in your poetic floor, including your dactylic, anapestic, trochaic, and iambic muscles. This kind of awareness enables you to isolate your poetic clitoris, for instance, and stimulate yourself poetically at any time. It’s an excellent trick for getting yourself “juiced up” for a hot inspirational experience or important occasional poem. You may even be able to train yourself to have amazing poetic orgasms in this manner. Meter exercises increase blood flow to the poetic region, which aids in the increased flow of inspiration and helps engorge the creative area. With increased blood supply and stronger muscles we prep ourselves for better, stronger and more amazing poetic orgasms. Our lyric G-spot is directly energized and stimulated.

Men – Every bit of the above applies to you, too. Having strong PM muscles aids in stronger lyric erections, lasting longer, increased libido and they help massage the Inspirational Prostate, too.

The whole thing here.

While reading, try not to mix up your epic similes with your extended metaphors.


In other news, it's So. Fucking. Hot! Over 40C every day for the last week or so, and 42.4C yesterday. If I've disappeared it's because there's been an incident of spontaneous combustion and someone should come and pick up the pieces.

Or do I mean put out the fire? I need to go do Kegels.

1 comment:

Banno said...

:) Yes, damn bloody hot.