Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Whining and Whingeing

I have a massive headache. To be fair, I already had one before I went had to emcee the evening's book launch, about which not another word - except to say I can't deal with 'sufi' poetry unless it's by Rumi or Hafiz. Okay? Okay.

And how dare projectionists just skip an entire song in Across The Universe? Went to watch the first day first (heck, only) show on Friday, and had the misfortune to have a projectionist who could not wait until the reel was over before inserting the slide that announced the interval. So there were these nine folks lying in a field, singing Because and half a minute before the end of the reel, way before the markers flash, the dude turns the projector off. When the interval is over, he resumes from where he left off but now changes reels before the song is over.

He also skipped Something. What's the law on this?

And the end titles. Nothing annoys me more that theatres that cut short the end titles. At the end of LotR 1, I've fought with projectionists to show the last reel again, but I was really not in the mood to do a crusading act on Friday. But I've been spending nights composing bitter letters of complaint to Ramesh Prasad. I also dream that he will be so worried that this will come to the ears of Columbia Pictures, whose contract with the theatre owners states that every inch of the film has to be shown (except those portions that have not been allowed by the censors of the land) and who will sue Prasadz till they have no choice but to give up their theatre to the govt. to convert into a science museum, so that he will personally call me up and offer me a couple of tickets free for whichever film I might want to watch, which I shall nobly refuse, saying I didn't do any of it for free tickets; I'm capable of buying my own tickets thank you very much, it's the principle of the thing.

Finally, why do people say 'at the end of the day' in a profound undertone as if they're uttering one of life's mysteries when all they're doing is saying stupid things like 'at the end of the day, we have to stand by each other'? Life as roll call. I knew it.


km said...

OK, Miss Beatles Fan, do you know why there are nine people lying on the field singing "Because"?

//not a trick question or a joke. Serious Beatles trivia question.

Falstaff said...

Well, at least you finally got to watch the film.

I think the law on skipping 'Something' is that they just take you out into the field and shoot you. Preferably with a cattle gun if one is handy. At least that's what it should be.

Also, totally with you on 'sufi' poetry.

km said...

I thought the law on skipping "Something" was that they make you listen to the American Idol version of the song and then they shoot you.

Falstaff said...

km: No, no. Taking them out in the field and shooting them is justice. Making them listen to American Idol first is just sadism. Even the condemned deserve to be treated humanely.

Space Bar said...

km: come on! revolution 9, of course.

falstaff: yes i did! and i loved it but i could just crib endlessly about the projection. i have to see it again. (like i need an excuse to want to see it again!). what's even more astounding is that they released the film at all in hyderabad.

km/falstaff: anyone who screws around with the beatles deserves to be tortured. I vote fore the american idol method. i endured week one but just couldn't handle all those idiots ruining the beatles two weeks in a row.

field. cattle gun. american idol contestants singing beatles on a loop. yes.

by the way, i just lost my chance to title this post 'He Bad Projectionist'. Bah.

Falstaff said...

sb: Yes, that would really have made the post come together.

dipali said...

Space Bar, sadly have to admit that 'at the end of the day' is one of my husband's pet phrases which bugs me no end. But since I insist on editing most of his personal mail and his poetry, I guess editing his spoken language would be a bit too much(:

km said...

Revolution 9? Maybe, but there is probably another reason.

"Because" is a three-part harmony song (J, P, G), overdubbed three times, thus making it nine voices on the recording. There really are nine Beatles singing on that track :)

?! said...

Oh well, I detest the Beatles, and go to sleep at all movies.


Long time, and enjoyed dipping into your recent works.

Will return laters then.

??! said...

Hey! That last comment was NOT from me. Space, you know ze person?

And I do not detest the bug-boys.

km said...

Space Bar: What we have here is an infiltrator. I suggest a Beatles' loyalty test for all your blog readers, followed by the signing of everyone's names in blood. (Unless y'all want virgin sacrifice?)

?! said...

Errr... as said, long time, tisn't you, ??!.

: )

But happen to be on her blogroll. I'm her token rustic.

As for the beaten ups, I can understand somebody from that time associating them with the spirit of the age.

(I thought Carpenters version of Ticket to Ride was the bestest).

Me, I heard Hippy Hipppy Shake and Roll Over Beethoven in the 90s, and I realized it was another publicity machine churning out fake nostalgeek chunks of culture. Not to mention Imagine, which I could only listen to if I could smoke whatever he was smokin at that time.

I mean, twenty years from now people are gonna talk about Mithunda in Disco Dancer that way.

(Some places,they do already).

(Ok, SS, since you were on about how bad a time this was, thought I'd add me bit).

Cheshire Cat said...

I find you Beatle-brows intimidating.

Space Bar said...

Falstaff: I knew it. I spend my life regretting lost opportunities (and I notice I'm still continuing to whine).

Dipali: Oops! :D It's an interesting thought - finding a way to edit someone's speech as it's happening...
km: Ah, yes. But that's way to technical for me! Good to know that, though.

Dubious Move (?! in other punctuations): so you finally found your way here, hanh? Good to see you. And what is all this sacrilege about the Beatles? You must have heard Stars on 45 singing the Beatles if you heard stuff in the 90s. Come on! And I'm going to ignore that one about liking the Carpenters' version of Ticket to Ride.

??!: Yes, yes, I know. From some dark recesses of my memory I recall that the Beatles, making a transition from The Quarrymen, considered briefly calling themselves The Ants (on account of Aunt Mimi and the Casbah lady). But pretty please don't call them the bugboys? Thank you.

km: A Beatles loyalty test sounds like a lot of fun. We can ask questions like what colour were Ringo's trousers in the Blue Meanies sequence of Yellow Submarine and suchlike.

Cat: :D nice one!

Space Bar said...

falstaff: dammit! something made me miss the come together bit. :D

??! said...

Dubious move? Heh. Nice to meet you. I must remember not to post comments while un-logged in.